It's only inevitable if you let it be. Suicide is a temporary thing. It's a symptom of the illness. As you get help and heal the thoughts will subside.

I didn't think this was true, but it is. I had my first suicide attempt at age 12. I had 2 more during my teen years. No one helped me get through it, no ER, no hospitalization. I figured I would be dead before I was 25.

But then I learned that you can fight it. That it's not the all powerful thing that rules you. You are the one in command. It's worth it to fight. I'm 33 now and I have pretty much overcome suicidal ideation all on my own without a T or a pdoc or any support from anyone except myself. How? By not giving up. To screaming it down. To digging in my heals and being stubborn and saying I won't die this way.

I still get throughts, fleeting ones. I had a plan. A full plan. What the trigger would be, a will, what letters and who to give them to, who in my family I would ask to take care of my financial issues, what my last meal would be, what I would wear, where it would be done and how... etc. The whole plan. So, I know where you are. And that was only 3 years ago. So, I no longer have that plan, no longer fear that trigger. It is possible to live and overcome.