I too suffered from asthma for many years and know the difficulty dealing with cleaning. I still do from time to time when it's bad enough. I am sure that's not the first thing on your mind though, your asthma, and I'm sure you know the ins and outs about what causes it won't get into that

It doesn't sound too much like he's a welcome visitor for you at all. Nothing you've said about him is a positive comment and the fact that you are intimidated and frantically tryin to figure out how to make your house presentable is a tell-tale sign that you don't expect it to go well. I feel like even if your house is presentable that your father will still find something to be overly critical about. I'm sorry but tradition should never be prioritized over your well being and ability to have peace. it's a holiday of giving thanks not one to stress over (outside of the stresses of the meal prep itself)

I would find a way to get out of having him even come. I don't know if you're above making an excuse or not, I won't suggest "making something up", that's up to you but I do think that you should find some way. I just don't think it would be fair to you, if you're accomodating to other people that they should come and criticize and make you feel devalued.

I'm sorry for your situation. I do have judgemental family too, so I understand. (I just stay away from them altogether)