Yeah, I hear you.

I remember one time a former T had my permission to share limited info about me, but then revealed to my brand new T that she allowed me to email her until I was comfortable in a new T relationship. The current T said it had to stop or she wouldn't see me and I got mad--at both of them for invading my privacy/life decisions.

With all the confidentiality laws, is it possible to see a dr and not have them disclose anything about your visit? Perhaps you can grant permission just to say they saw you and send that to your T.

Also, if possible, share this with T. You can tell her that you would like to be able to discuss things with your dr, but will not feel free to do so knowing confidentiality will be broken. I know I wouldn't be at all comfortable either. Maybe there is a consent form which you can sign and specify a narrow scope of info to be shared. If you don't feel comfortable discussing suicidality--which is at the heart of this matter--with your doc, then maybe you need a new doc, or just better confidentiality to get you to feel safe opening up. Myself, I'd prefer a woman.... just remember even within this ultimatum, you are not powerless and you do have say in your care. Let us know how it goes.