What's not allowed are relationships that boundary cross in inappropriate ways. Some Ts have blanket policies--even making clients sign contracts! My T was always extremely secure about boundary issues (he wrote the ethics code for my state!), and he was retiring. Believe me, there's never been anything even approaching improper between us and never would be. He's never initiated contact with me, but has always responded to my contact. Even now, when he has such challenges in his life, he is very circumspect about his emotions.

The other issue is judgment. I'm recovered. I no longer have the needs I once had, so our relationship is very normalized.