Hi Legsie,

I have been held at g*npoint several times in my life, in childhood and as an adult which involved law enforcement and ambulances, although not shot, others were. I have internal responses, that make it difficult when someone even jokingly makes a hand gesture resembling a g*n. Emergency vehicles like ambulances and police cars, police officers can create issues at times too, sounds of sirens, smells of g*npowder and the metallic smell bl**d can leave in the air and in your mouth, all reset the internal defenses and flight responses…

PTSD is like that..what you’re suffering thru is in addition to the physical trauma your body endured..The pain and horror of being shot, especially when your pregnant, and watching a friend die..is horrid, I hope you are in Therapy, if you are not and you are in the US, most states have a victims of crime agency, and there is a national web site that assist you too to find the resources that may be able to help…

Personally, I have found the one thing hardest to do that is the most helpful, is just trying to talk about it, as much as you need to, reaching out here is good..I know it may feel hard, or you may not feel anything at all..another process called numbing..just please keep posting as much as you can and feel you want to...There are grounding techniques listed in the guideline for the forum, remember to breathe if it gets to intense..and like I have done to assist others who may be Tr**g*d by this type of event, add the Icon..it helps others to know to enter with care..

Again I am sorry your suffering so, but sharing, talking, at least you know your not alone with the symptoms..you are a Survivor..just need to let your body relearn that after what it has been thru...be patient with yourself when you are the most overwhelmed and hopeless..you deserve that..its ok to feel crazy with this stuff ..its a the bodies response to an extremely violent trauma..