I feel like im suffocating inside of myself.... im drowing in the thoughts of numbers the thoughts of calories, weight, food and restricting. I want to cryb but dont allow myself that emotion ever. I feel so stressed out right now. Im about to start my jjob back after a long leave of absence from bveing in a bad accident and am worried about that im not going to be able to concentrate.
I feel so torn....I still want to lose more weight bc when i look in the mirror i still see a large body but the mental aspect of the control is overwhelming me again. Ive had this disease for 30 years and dont know if Im ever going to be free.