Court was rough, they took him into custody, he tested dirty for meth
I could tell, he was in psychosis coming down last night, arguing with imaginary people, suicidal. I gave him the last of his xanax and he finally fell asleep. This morning he refused to go to court, packed a bag said he was running. Somehow I got him there, told him to do the right thing now or the charges would just stack and stack and they would find him...

Court will release him to a rehab program, so I'm trying to find him a bed at a good one near here.

I'm sad, I'm isolating. But this is what it is. Hopefully he will get sober this time.

I met another mom today, her name is Faith... her son is also 17 and is sober. She and her husband and son were there at court for some follow up. They gave us their phone numbers, offered support, told me about their past addictions and she's stayed at the rehab near here I'm trying to get my son in. Her son talked to my son while we were all waiting, about how he overcame same addiction, invited him to come skating and to NA meetings with him and his friends, gave him advice about how to handle some initial situations in the jail. My son told him he has no friends who are sober and needs friends and really appreciates the offer and will be calling him... Faith invited me to her women's support group or to talk anytime. I'm touched that they reached out to me. Her husband offered his support, told me about his recovery. I feel really grateful that this family reached out to my son and myself today. We need some kind of real life community support if we're going to make it through this. I don't think my son has had a good friend in 5 years...

Well, tomorrow is visitation night. I wonder if he will still blame all of this on me, or hopefully as he gets sober he will be less angry at me for calling cops on him those times he got violent and dangerous. I spend some time wondering if involving police was right or wrong, wondering about anything else I could've done different so I wouldn't be in this spot tonight with my son in jail. Trying to have hope, and faith...