I don't particularly dread christmas, it is just a non event in my life, really. The christmas before last I was and still am now suffering with depression. I was in bed 24/7 leading up to christmas and did absolutely no shopping for it, what so ever. Not a single card, present or any food. I didn't even get out of bed on the day, am ashamed to say now and I can't even remember what me and my (grown up) son ate that day, as I had not been shopping for normal groceries, let alone christmas dinner and treats. How bad is that ? Not a present was exchanged or single card sent even to my elderly widowed father. Last year, I still didn't send cards or buy gifts and my son organised the food shop. He put the decorations up and even prepared the veg. There is only ever us two for dinner, his father passed away 8 years ago (suicide) and my daughter lives away from home and has cut me out of her life. I don't dread the day, it's just another lonely day for me and this year will be no different. I won't bother with cards and can't afford presents anyway. What a miserable thought, at least I hope to get out of bed. Sad or what ?