You're certainly not "tainted," and I don't think your T meant it at all that way. But it does sound like she doesn't want to engage in touch, maybe for reasons that are in your best interest, maybe because of her theoretical orientation, maybe just because she doesn't feel comfortable offering it in her practice. I guess I felt differently because I knew my T was comfortable with touch, just not for me. It hurt at times, but I did understand his reasoning, and maybe even felt a safety in that.