Yes, sanity, Things are rough. Reading back my post I nearly felt an emotion, of sadness as tears stung at my eyes. My words are shameful yet 100% true. As I lay here I feel ashamed yet helpless, too helpless to even make the first step to get help. A doctor's appointment could be arranged in a 2 min phonecall, yet it is beyond me. It's easier to not bother. My hygiene is non existant because I simply don't care. ( I do wash after bathroom visits ha ha, am not unhygienic in that way ) The daily shower is just uneccesary now, like clothes. Why dress to undress hours later ? Why bother ? How I get out of this mess I don't know, as only I can make that first vital step. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like this.