MANIPULATIVE

I had no idea devoice was a topic of remote consideration with us. In short I felt all was just fine. And then she went camping with very adult visiting daughter when 4 days later I learned she had left me! I was not aware their was problems. I was completely floored as to why it happened and what was I to do now. Really struggling with it all My primary feeling was I must find a way to patch this up it can not be that broken. My shrink had no answers. Next I tried a new psychologist for maybe a better understanding of myself. I took my then estranged wife to see them both. She wrote two statements for me after I asked her to do so on what the problems were. I quickly realized they were examination of lies and falsehoods. I tried and tried even harder to find out just what was it she felt I was doing wrong and could come up with nothing.

What to do about getting our marriage back on track was just beyond me. She felt she needed more time to see if we could fall in love again. I did not have to do it again at all for I was still there.

Finally she summed up my actions as being manipulative and controlling. Wow, this was first. Something I knew nothing about much less practiced. Off I went to study this concept. On line I found a lot information on the topic. Then I read and studied George Simon in his book "In Sheep's Clothing". When she returned back here I was well versed on this total new topic and had reclaimed my self-respect. Nothing has proved more valuable to me to have an understanding of how to deal with a manipulative person which she has turned out to be which I never remotely considered.

She is still staying in my cottage out back my home and will remain there for about three months until her new place to call home becomes vacant. This is not easy as I see to much of her and remain very civil in spite of what she pulled on me.

We have decided on a separation of real estate and the like. that is being finalized now. best of all a no fault devoice will be filed by the end of November and this will all end no later then the end of Jan, 2013.

Now being age 66 this has been a hard shake on my reality however I am learning how to move on with my life in spite of my type one bipolar and now 18 years sober alcoholic.

Thank you for being here.