Welcome to PC! I still think you need to find someone IRL to talk with about your feelings. Wouldn't you like to keep working, if you could handle the stress? Sometimes when ppl work in that field, they think no one can really tell them anything "new." I'm sure you really do know so much! However, it would help you to have a colleague or someone who is a T who will help you change your responses to what you are experiencing.

I have terrible problems with meds, too... but you have to keep trying. You don't have to suffer this way, and you don't have to go it alone. TC!