I think you all got it right! He's acting like a child.

I did give him what he wanted - we haven't been speaking for the past year, but he has never been so clear as to put it in writing as "leave me alone and stop talking to me and reaching out."

I was the one who called him a few months back when my uncle passed away. He didn't even take the call - he told me to text him the news. I told him this isn't stuff you want to hear over text. NOONE In the family had told him or would have, unless he read it in the paper. I wish I didn't call him. He would have realized at that point what it means to write off your family. It's a perfect example of what you mean Sandman!- so he can see what cutting ties really means.

Riotgirl - I thought of reaching out to family and encouraging them to help my mom feel welcomed at dinner next week. She doesn't want anyone to know. She just wants to shrink into oblivion. I think she will feel targeted and betrayed if I tell the fam she needs support.

It also puts me and my dad in a weird place - what do we say when they ask where my mom is? Idk, lie? Say she isn't feeling well? She already avoided my little cousin's 1st birthday party a month ago b/c she wanted to avoid interacting with my bro (who didn't show up anyhow). Idk. It's all so weird.