How did she save you exactly? She cheated on you and broke your heart it sounds like.

I don't know the whole story about your baby, I'm sorry you had to have such a loss. I think sometimes people don't realize it effects the guy, too, (especially a young guy, I think many people think guys all thing "oh yay, get out of jail free.") But it's still a loss and you deserve to grieve it, and that sounds exactly like what is going on. You're grieving both your relationship and your lost baby, and you're probably still in the anger stage, which is fine. Everyone grieves at their own pace. There is no right or wrong answer.

As for grieiving it just takes time to get over it and you will get past it when you're ready.