(I posted this on the Dr Phil board, too, in case anyone lurks over there...)

This post is going to be WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY out there, but it's something that has me concerned (more than), and I want to mention it in case anyone else has ever experienced this.

My life has been bad for so long, I can hardly remember when it wasn't. I've been into metaphysics...well, my whole adult life. For a VERY long time, I've been told by astrologers, card readers, psychics, that really great things were coming to me. Yes, I know some folks believe that these people are charlatans, but I've been "read" by some people who were remarkably accurate, even spookily so. I've waited and waited but good stuff just hasn't come. In fact, it can be said that things have gotten worse and worse. No, I don't believe these people were just telling me what I want to hear. I've turned over the tarot cards myself and seen the results. (I used to read tarot, so I know what the cards mean. Nobody rigged them).

Today, I read my horoscopes (I'm Capricorn, on the Cusp of Aquarius, with an Aquarius moon & a Libra rising, so I read Capricorn, Aquarius and Libra horoscopes every day). They all said that this day was the day of BIG change in my life. (Change for the better) Specifically: "You've been ready for success -- and finally, success is ready for you. This is thrilling -- but also just the teensiest bit scary. Everything's coming your way, and that means change -- big change -- is in the works...There's no question, this has been a long time coming. But today the change for which you've been hoping for so long is likely to occur…Embrace the unexpected like an old and dear friend"

Except that...NOTHING HAPPENED TODAY THAT WAS GOOD! In fact, the opposite can be said. So, what's the problem? I'm not only frustrated, I feel like screaming, shaking, crying. I want the good things to come, finally, SOOOO much, I've waited SOOOO long, and worked SOOOO hard. I've been SOOO patient. And, when the horoscopes say that today is finally the day, and nothing happens...it's sort of like having someone propose to you and then, on your wedding day, they don't show up for the wedding. You know what I mean?

The point isn't that I shouldn't believe what these people say, the point is that I'm WAAAAYYYY overdue for something good to happen, at the end of my rope waiting for it, and I feel deprived of something I've damned well earned that I feel has been withheld from me.

I've been depressed for a while. This no-show, big (great) life change is enough to put me even more on the "nothing good ever happens to me" depression treadmill. Sigh...

Can you relate?