A breakthrough!!!

I just came back to work from my T, by bike. I know I look good after biking outside - my cheeks sure do not need a blush. An indian guy stopped me in the hallway and asked whether I had been riding near the Bay (the SF Bay). I said that no, I had been commuting and I do not know the routes by the Bay. He was very very skinny, tall and with a mouthful of pearls. His smile was simply arresting. He was so warm and glowing. I can still see his smile.

Later on I recalled my former p-doc, an Indian lady, who was simply fantastic, amazing, outstanding, and played an important positive role in my life in those few months that she treated me. She had the same mouthful of pearls and looking at her smile was healing in and of itself.

I do not think I have ever seen any white guy with such great, and clearly natural, teeth. They were to die for!

I then went down the memory lane and recalled a couple more Indian guys with great sparkling teeth. I just did not pay attention before.

So there is something physical that I clearly like about Indian men. Hooray!

But it was more than just the objective quality of the teeth - it was the warmth of his smile and the sparkle in his dark brown eyes. Simply delicious!

I know he liked me, and I very much like being liked by men - I have been like this for almost as long as I remember - so, sure, part of the reason I warmed up to him was his paying attention to me. But still!

And I quickly ran a fantasy in my head - kissing and vaginal sex, just for a few split seconds - and the fantasy seemed completely natural and normal to me. At last!

If I ever see him again, I will ask him to take me bike riding near the Bay.