1st thank you all sooooo very much, truth. i have posted on a couple forums that have to do with my son and have been welcomed with open arms all the way. this is such a relief!

here is where i truly need help. the day-to-day stuff. i think this mite be the main place, cause i need help from parents. i thot bout the PTSD bord, but i'm worried about the people ther.

my 22-yr old son......i'll start with the little stuff and work my way to the bit bigger stuff. PLEASE understand i am NOT COMPLANING. i just need help dealing. and helping him deal in a better way. cause i have read about all of this and i agree that i need to be patient and understanding. i also need advise.
1st - trash and dishes in his room....i saw a post the other day, and shared that idea wtth him about taking 1 thing out at a time and 1 dish out at a time. great idea, rite? i even offered to do it for him, clean out the trash and take all the dishes. won't let me. this is now almost a year's acumulation of trash, and he won't bring the dishes out. when i tell him we have no plates left for the rest of the family, THEN he will bring only the plates out. i don't want to trigger him into a fit but this is a daily thing.
2nd - we all need our escapes, truth. my husband is getting frustrated of the time our son spends on the video games tho. sometimes 10-12 hrs at a time. remember, he's on med. leave from his job(voluntary) and quit college.
3rd - yesterday, my husband just gave him the $$ he needed for the tags on his car and a speeding ticket that he simply was going to 'let go', they had already told him he would lose his lisense if he didnt pay it. we offered to give him $$ for his bday whch was the othr day, and he said he wanted an iPod. so we got it for him. THEN he came and told us about not getting this taken care of. we assumed he had set up a payment plan, like he told us he was going to. he had waited too long. which is a symptom, rite? we've been paying his car ins. all along. and last month we had to get a bus ticket for him from NY cause he took off(long story). we are just glad he's home. anyway, the point is, he hadn't even filled out papers for SSDI yet, he's had all summer. he's about to get kicked off our ins. we are at a loss. this is really affecting the rest of the family. we have 4 other kids to provide for. and this is draining.

any advise wood be appreciated! thanks TONS!
sara