Hi there.

I do believe it can work, but it requires communication. He seems to not understand what it is you want, and you, respectfully, seem a little intimidated talking to him about it. That's okay! Just be honest.

A lot of his trepidation might stem from misunderstanding as well. When I first learned of BDSM, I was repulsed (sorry ). I didn't understand what pleasure could be derived from that, and I was afraid that the sub partner was being hurt (well...in a way outside of what is expected, I suppose. And honestly, I thought the dom was a bit of an *** for wanting to do that). To me, it was scary to look at from the outside, and I could not for the life of me understand why someone would want to be in such a position. However, I've met a lot of people who engage in that type of lifestyle here, and it was an eye opener. I understand it much better now, and I know it's not a matter of disrespect or a desire to hurt. It's simple bedroom play. He might need the same eye opener.

That's the best I can offer. The key is communication. If he ABSOLUTELY will not, you two will have to work something out. Communication and honesty are always key components in a relationship. Do understand though, if he can't, he can't, and something will need to be worked out. I know that even though I understand it, I could not go through with it if a partner requested it, I don't think. I understand, and I know it's not true pain, so to speak, but I still can't negotiate the conflict in hurting or being...aggressive...with someone I love and sexuality. It's a personal mental block for me. He may or may not be of the same persuasion.

Take care, and I wish you both my best.

Hugs,
Harley