Hey there. Had a terrible session where T and I just didn't really connect and all she kept pushing towards was sending me to hospital on Friday. (I have an exam to write this evening).
Yes, my needs for touch and hugs definitely stems from my upbringing, and the worst is that I don't know if it's actually possible to go back and undo the past.

I've taken too much Klonopin and my bf saw that and last night got into a huge argument - I can see him wanting to end this relationship. He says I've changed so much and he doesn't know me anymore and that I've become a junkie. So, I asked him if he wants me to stop my meds, and I never got an answer. I'm just going to try keep communication to a minimum.
I also have a very sick grandmother in Germany with cancer. It was thought to be ok, but eventually they found out it had moved to the bone and they're even inserting a pin to help strengthen her bone. She took her first session of chemo really badly I believe. And there's nothing I can do from here.

All I wanted T to say was that I could phone her and she'd have a few words of encouragement. Not that she'd book me a bed in hospital straight away...
I don't know what else to say