I feel bad, posting so much. But it feels good to just get things out...

Anyway, my depression is getting really bad.

I woke up this morning and burst into tears. It was the first time I've actually cried in a long, long, long time.

I really couldn't stop crying. So I got out of bed and went up to my Mom. I showed her I was weak, I showed her I was crying.

And then... she hugged me.

She told me it was ok and that I should stay home today.

It came as a major shock to me. She has never comforted me like that when I'm crying, ever.

But I'm still as depressed as can be. I feel like I just really want to just, sleep for a while, and not wake up until I'm ready to deal with reality again.

But unfortunately, that cannot be.