visitation went ok. only 5 parents there to visit their children in juvie. and i was the only english speaking one, the officers said everything in spanish and then translated for me... lol... it was a little surreal. it's nothing like all the times visiting him in the hospital, we had to sit across the table and were not supposed to hold hands, but the officer let us hold hands. my son cried the whole hour. he went from blaming me for everything, suicidal, wanting a cigarette, asking if he'd missed younger brother's bday which is coming monday, to asking me what he is supposed to do now, said the food wasn't that bad, crying he was sorry, asking me to do my energy protection thing around him because he doesn't feel safe, to big hugs and he loves me. then it was time to go. it was weird outside the juvie, stairs and no lights, no moon. weird experience.

anyway i told him that his probation officer and i will be doing everything we can to get him accepted into the nice rehab. she and i both agree it's a good place for him. he can even bring his guitar. they have redwood trees and hiking and a zip line and ping pong and field trips, yoga, meditation, 10 minutes from home. and my insurance will cover 100% since all the hospitalizations this year. they have to accept him in, they just have to, i will beg.

forgive my ramblings, it's after midnight i need sleep but my mind won't stop.