I agree in that experiences help shape us but there is also a matter of choice as Anika mentions above; choosing our perception can shape experiences. If we choose to change our perception and to choose a different perspective (immaterial of any experience), we then can shape experiences to help that choice, and thereby help shape experience or use experiences to reinforce our perceptions. Sometimes we have to first choose to change our perception to influence our experience, even if it is contrary to our initial experiences or even perceptions. Perception and experience influence each other on equal ground depending on how open and willing we are to change.