Today is the eighteenth anniversary of my mother's passing away..I still get depressed thinking about it and how I never got to go to the funeral and say goodbye and get real closure...I've been wanting to cry but I'm afraid my roommate will see me and get his own issues (anger which makes him say things like 'I'm gonna stop taking my meds', why does my being sad affect him that way?) going...I also feel anger sometimes because I overheard my boarding home operator telling my sister 'it's better she not get anything of her mother's because it might affect her benefits' when my sister called and told me my mom had passed on..No one had any right to keep me from saying goodbye or having something I could hold onto to remember my mom by..I will never understand why I was treated like I was 'too fragile' to handle those things. It makes me sad that people thought it was best not to let me get closure and just to forget about it and get on with my life!