Richard, I agree with you wholeheartedly. One thing that's not quite true though, is this: "they will get you drunk long before you get them sober" I'm the only one who can get me drunk, and I can't get anyone sober. I haven't been able to talk it over with my sponsor yet. Hopefully today. This situation sucks because he's not just some guy I just met. I've been in love with him since I was 12. But, you're right, no guy is worth my sobriety, that is the only thing I know for sure. I talked to his mom last night, got to hear it all from her. Scared the hell out of me. I know that pain...the pain he was feeling was the pain I felt at the end. She asked me what I said to him, and I told her that no matter what our relationship, he's another person with a drinking problem to me now, and I couldn't lecture him, lest ruin any possibility of him finding help. When we had "the talk" about getting back together, he told me his biggest fear was that I would drink. The last time we were together, I was drunk all the time.

I know I'm playing with fire here. I honestly thought he was normie. The woman I've been able to talk to about this said there are people who drink too much sometimes, but who are we to classify as alchoholic. I don't know, I really don't.

What I do know is that this will NOT affect my sobriety. I know we heard this from Bama. I'd like to think I've built a stronger foundation than that. My relationship with HP is a good one, and I don't ignore those messages. I know HP speaks through others, so I'm heeding everything I'm hearing. I have to make sure though, that I'm not throwing him away due to contempt prior to investigation. There are plenty of people who got into a relationship in sobriety and then found out the other person was an alcoholic. If he is, and gets help, great. If he is, and it continues, then it will have to be over. Do I think he deserves the chance to come to a realization without me bailing on him? Yes. Do I think I deserve the chance to keep the man I've loved for 15 years? Yes. Do I think this might jeoprodize my sobriety? No. I'll let it go before it does. I love my sobriety more than life itself, more than guys, more than cats, more than my sponsor, more than my friends, more than HP, more than everything. So, I pray for the next right thought and direction, and I will pray for him. Only time will tell on this one.