Simon -

A year ago I felt very similar to you, and still battle with this need for someone to notice the true me. I started counselling and read a book called The Four Agreements. The book helps me to deal with the daily stuff, the counselling is helping (I think) to deal with the long term stuff.

I say I think because I have good days, kind of good days, and then some bad days where I feel like I am right back to where I was.

For me I know that it is my own self confidence getting in the way of my relationships with others. If I like myself and I am being true to me, then they can say and do whatever they want to do. Having said this, I just spent 6 days with my in-laws and that was VERY challenging for me. I feel that they expect everyone to be like them, and if you are not then you are not worthy. They double check the things they ask me to do. When I offer an opinion that they asked for they basically laugh at it. The logical side of me knows that this really has nothing to do with me, and has more to do with them. Never the less it is still hurt ful.

I just wanted to let you know that I have felt that way, but I know that I need to matter to myself, before I can matter to others. Hang in there. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.