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I despise the "holiday season" regardless of how it's wrapped. It's merely a reminder that I'm no longer able to connect with people that matter to me because they have all "moved on" with their lives and have no use for me. It's a reminder I never mattered to them in the first place. With the exception of my husband and son, the only people to whom I ever mattered are all dead.
It would be nice to "avoid" the holidays, but I'm homebound and stuck in bed most of the time. The only "entertainment" available, besides staring at the huge crack in the ceiling above my head, is to watch TV. Watching TV, regardless of the station is a constant bombardment of stories and advertisements that trigger both emotional and physical pain - from now all the way through to Valentine's Day. I'm sincerely hoping this will be my last "holiday season."
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