I honestly dont know. I tried for 2 years to figure that man out. He really was Dr. Jekyl/ Mr. Hyde. One minute he loved me and the next he couldnt stand to breathe the same air as I was. How can one minute he say he still loves me and it doesnt bother him if I text him. Then without any further action on my part, other than not stopping at his moms house when he was there, he decided to flip out and tell me we're done and stop talking to him. It just doesnt make any sense. my friends have all told me to call him and leave a voice mail (cuz I know he wont answer) and just tell him everything I need to say. But I know that it wont do either of us any good.

Maybe he has a new girl from match.com that he is talking to. Idk. That hurts because now Im thinking he gets to move on and forget all about me, our time together, our love, etc and be happy with a new girl while I get to sit here feeling like ***** everyday, lonely and alone.

I agree that the pain from a broken heart has never killed anyone, but it has lead many people to suicide. Id be lying if I didn't say I don't think about it. Hard not to when you look back and realize you're not mad anymore and you forgive the person for every bad thing they ever said or did to you and all you want it to tell them you're so sorry for taking them for granted. That you hate yourself so much for not realizing how much of a good person they were, and how good they were for you, until it was too late.

As for moving, the only way that I got this place was to take out $5000 in student loans to pay for all the utilities, rent and deposit. And Ill have to take out even more money in January to continue to afford this place. But what else can I do? I make $720 a month at my part time job. I cant get a full time job because 1, no places around here hire full time anymore. Why would they, when they can hire 2 part timers, get 60 hours of work from them and not have to pay benefits? And 2) because I go to school. I cant find a job that will work around my school schedule. And Im not sure I could keep my grades up if i took on any more hours at work.

Ive been on the public housing list for 3 months...still no openings.
I went to the mental health center to see about counseling. With a medical card, and low income, they still wanted me to pay $50 out of pocket per session. and wanted me to come in every 2 weeks. I cant afford that. I have a kid to support.

Thanks for responding to me Lee