Quote:
Originally Posted by button30
When I seen T this week I text her to say I was going to be a few minutes late she text back and said that she had forgotten about our appt but would be there in half an hour.
I am not being dramatic but I was suicidal and she forgets... it is not the first time she has been late or forgotten and my doctor tried to ring her yesterday three times and she never rang him back. He tried when I was there too and she ignored his call. So I text her today to say I had been to the doctor and could I make another appt with her and she never text back. I am feeling so bad right now like she doesn't care. I am sick of this ****. I thought she cares but I am not willing to go through this again with T2 because as soon as I was mentioned sui with T1 she terminated me and I feel like this is what is going to happen here again.
I even told T2 about what happened with T1 and how she terminated and T2 said it was because I wasn't safe with her. WEll I am not safe with this T or any T. I am done with everything and everyone.
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When you're really depressed, it's easy to make those sort of situations all about you. I know I have in the past. How could she forget
me? More than once? When I'm doing so badly, why was it
me she forgot? How could she do that to me?
I know from having survived it a few times that it can be very painful to experience. I know it has never actually been about me. Sometimes my T forgets, sometimes she forgets to write my name down, or writes it in the wrong day or time. She wishes she never did that to anyone. I know she has messed up and double booked people before, and she always feels so bad about it. It just something that happens, but it's about her, not me, or any of her other clients.
I know it's hard, when you're already so low, not to be hurt by something like this. I know it feels like you won't survive it again. Life is a bit like that though. We build up strength, and then we do unfortunately get hurt by those who are closest to us, and it really hurts.
The good thing about therapy is that it's the perfect place to look at your thinking and see if you're right, see if you could think about it another way, or even give your therapist a chance to explain themselves and say sorry. Even give yourself a chance to heal and recover in a way the doesn't feel possible right now. It doesn't have to feel possible right now, but you do have to give it a chance anyway. It is okay to feel hurt too. I always did.