From my years of research on the autism spectrum it sounds to me like you might be suffering from some kind of autism. Autism is fairly new and many children who have autism go undiagnosed. It is important to start intervention at as early an age as possible. I'm sorry you've gotten lost in your parents problems when you clearly needed guidance. You probably felt so isolated as a child and had no idea what was going on. Just know that there are many many many people like you out there and the numbers are growing. They are still trying to figure out the cause of autism but the diet has proven positive results in many. Keep on living hun and if you need someone to tak to who knows a little about how you feel sometimes, I'm here.