If you are confused about whether or not your history causes the way you do now... Well, if your history bothers you at all then it might be worth seeking therapy for that issue alone if you havent already done so, and then once that issue is taken care of you might be in a better place to decide whether your sexual interest or lack of it is your orientation or not.

Another thing is whether or not your lack of interest is a lack of sexual attraction (asexuality) or a lack of sexual motivation/libido. If it is the latter, then there are things that can be done to raise that, although I think you'd probably still have to deal with other related issues that you seem to be having. If you aren't sure but the whole thing bothers you, then it might be worth seeking a libido treatment and then finding out afterwards through that whether or not you have the sexual attraction as well.

Whether you are asexual or not, you aren't alone. Asexuality doesn't automatically mean that you can't want relationships or can't get one. Mixed orientation relationships do happen, although obviously there can be compatibility issues and compromise is a core thing... but I've also known asexual couples. There are some dating sites for asexuals but you might be better off going to AVEN (the Asexual Visibility and Education Network) which is an information and community site (not a dating site, be warned!) where you can both find out more about asexuality and how it may or may not relate to you and also make asexual friends there who might make you feel better about yourself or even become more in time.