Hey ashflower, I know how you are feeling. I use to do that same thing, but in the last year I have learned how to change that. I think that in order for you to really feel better is if you start going to therapy and start talking about your problems. It might be hard but you will start to feel better with time. Also, you might not be ready for the next step to moving on with your life. Lessons can only be learned when your body and mind is ready. One thing you can start with to help you cope is you can start a journal and keep track of your thoughs. At first you may think it is silly but in a long run it will help you to cope with your problems and help you to deal with what is right in front of you. You are probably at the stage of learning who you are too. So talking about your life with someone will help a lot too. I'm not saying that this is going to be easy because in reality it is a hard thing to do, but over time you will learn who you are and you will learn how to change things so that you can have a happy filled life again.

I hope that this helps you to get started. Just know that you are not alone on how you feel. *hugs* Just hang in there.