I agree with what Jimrat said. Also, sometimes people assume verbal = not autistic, and a lot of misunderstandings can come out of that. People will think that "you can't have problems because you can speak" and will not see the struggles beneath. Executive functioning, motor planning, expressive language, all of that is difficult when you have autism - let alone combining other issues like ADHD and depression too. But someone who isn't aware of the real cause will just blame it on lazyness or not trying hard enough, which can make the person feel like crap and start to doubt themselves or hate themselves. It's understandable.

I can't give much advice but I can just say keep on being an advocate for her. Keep being there as support, love and care. It's very devastating to not have someone like that around, someone who doesn't support you or understand, or even try to understand.