i have this feeling quite frequently with t. i could just never articulate it as well as you did.
rationally, i know he would never harm me physically,
but
in my child mind that is in the room most of the time, i totally feel the need to protect myself. he could hurt me, he could cause me pain.

and because of that i sit as far away from him as possible, and do not have any physical or eye contact...

must explore this more for myself... thanks for sharing.

i think you are totally brave! you can do this. i believe you have tons and tons of courage.!