Michelle - welcome to PC and I'm sorry you're going through so much painful angst. That can't possibly be easy

Are you seeing a therapist? I would go to therapy every day if it were affordable. It helps me so much.

We'd love to get to know you better -- please hang in there, call a crisis line or 911 if you're feeling desperate, but check for us in Chat or post more on the forums here. We can all talk it out with you