So far he has been defensive and started remembering the times when I treated him poorly in the previous millennium. I wrote that I cannot undo that, and no one has that kind of power, but if there is something he does not like now, he should let me know and I will try to make it better. No reaction. I then recalled his story about a psych nurse. He had a female psych nurse - a woman of certain age. He says that of all the psych nurses she was the best, and he was sorry to see her move up to an administrative position. She was overweight and liked eating sweets, and he brought it to her attention that she should not be indulging. That story simply infuriated me, but I did not say anything right away. Well, today I wrote to him saying that look, Lithium that I take does absolutely nothing bad to my memory and I remember everything that you have said, including the story about the psych nurse. What you said to the psych nurse was simply abominable. What I am requesting of you is not some special nice treatment but something that is within the right of every individual. You did not have the right to tell your psych nurse what not to eat. Your mother (H-B: his mother tells him that he needs to lose his belly) did not raise you right. If your mother tells you to lose your belly, it does not give you right to go through life telling other people what not to eat. And I am sorry that I on my end said things about your needing to lose weight - do be assured that it was just in response to what you said -- basically provoked by you, and I would not do it again.

One would have thought that this sort of letter would bring the story to a peaceful resolution, but no... He emails back with "My mother is right".

OK, since that did not work out, I did something hurtful. I said - look, your "wife" (she has never lived with him and they see each other several times a year, hence quotation marks) has really small breasts. Why do not not pester her asking to increase her size? For two reasons: one, you understand that breast size is genetic, and two, she is not the kind of person who would tolerate such pestering for a split second. Well, weight gain as we age is also largely genetic which is something you should have learned had you read scientific literature and stopped believing your delusional theories. (H-B: he told me that he hates statistics). I know that you hate statistics - this is another thing I remember because i do not suffer any ill effects from Lithium and remember everything; ok, that is too bad but if you got your medical degree at some point you should be equipped with minimal skills to read scientific literature. Then you would have learned that weight gain as we age is to a large extent genetic - not as much as breast size, not 100%, but to a large extent, and that is why you have no success losing weight despite stubbornly applying your masochistic methods. So that is it about genetics. As to being the kind of person who would not tolerate pestering, well, I have decided to become such a person as well.

No response. Do not know if he has read it given the time difference.

I followed up with another letter explaining that the reason I used to tolerate pestering is two-fold. One, I felt guilty. Two, I was used to this sort of treatment from ex. Well, the guilt feeling has been exhausted. It was big, but not without its limits. As to ex, he was less demanding in his day and age than you - he never complained about thick ankles but rather treated my body as perfect without flaws but later on when I gained weight he would call me names and humiliate me. And, I am done with him and will not tolerate people like him in my life anymore. Believe me, I will have no trouble finding people who would not do that.

Ok, so I said that.

Then I wrote about the yoga teacher friend.

Now I will call him and assess if he has comprehended my message. If he has, fine. If he has not, he will get a letter which I have already drafted that says that in the past his erection was just amazing, but not anymore, which is probably partly due to long history of smoking, and I send him to google do search for "smoking penis size" and partly for sure to a very detrimental visual effect that his belly creates. I do not care about muscles elsewhere in the body, but I do care about the size and that is why I need a flat belly. When will you finally achieve the flat belly?

***

Got it? Do you like being talked to like this? And... I am right, no? If your mother is right, then I am right, too. By saying that your mother is right you asked for this letter. I wanted to say this to you for a long time, but felt sorry for you and didn't. And now, I think it is the best mirror I can give you. Look in this mirror and enjoy.

***

So that is what he is going to get if more peaceful tools do not work. And I think it is a perfect mirror because to keep telling a woman that she used to have a perfect figure but does not anymore is the same as to say to a man that he used to have a substantial erection but does not anymore. I think it is perfectly fair. A bit cruel, perhaps, but fair.