Yep this is my new way. I've always found the sight of blood more...consoling, you know. But cuts get hard to hide after some time. I am the kind of person who can resist for a bit, try to get better after cutting the skin by my fingers and stuff like that... People never care about that. I constantly destroy my fingers, pouring some lemon or vinegar on them afterwards. Sometimes I also wear shoes with no socks when I know I will have to walk a lot and those kinds of silly things.
I'm tired of people judging me for my scars.
I'm tired of lying about them.

But recently these...alternative ways just don't seem enough.
I did try to suicide with meds many times. Guess I couldn't man up enough to swallow the right amount. But the pain I feel everytime has become my new kind of addiction. Which is concerning. More than the usual cuts, I reckon.

So I was wondering whether anyone else here does or has ever abused meds just in order to feel the pain the small overdoses give.
And if so, how did you get out of that? Any suggestions?

I just feel so uncomfortable right now... I'm so tired and really need to sleep but I can't because I ran out of meds after the last time and now I can't help loathing my self for wasting on food money I could have saved for...



Actually I might just need someone who managed to stop constantly hurting themselves who could tell me that yes, there is a way to get out of this...