I don't really know where to turn because I am struggling a lot with my mother. My shrink and I are working on mommy issues and then they just jumped and smacked me in the face as I prepare to go home for the holidays. The incredibly long story, cut extremely short is.. my mom says that I expect too much from her and she wants to live her life... and that means that it's not about me anymore.

Now to give a bit of background as objectively as I can. I am the youngest of 3. I moved across the country for college... and paid my way through it all. I then came home for 9 months between undergrad and graduate school.. when I moved across the country again to a different region where I've lived for the past 7 years. I go home a maximum of 3 times a year.. the longest i've been home in a stretch since graduate school is 10 days. That was last year, when my mom was dating her boyfriend and she decided it was all about him and that was the beginning of me having to get over it.

I have asked my mom for financial assistance maybe 4 times since I was 18.. and that was just, hey if you can spare anything can you help me out. I don't ask her for anything except for maybe breakfast when I am home and to have coffee when I visit. She used to come and visit me twice a year.. and last year she went an entire year giving me excuses why she couldn't...

She told me that she wasn't going to be spending her Christmases with me anymore and I should prepare myself for that because I'm not a child any more. She said if I had a spouse or children I'd understand, but I don't so I just need to not take it personally. She has her own issues to deal with and she just wants to "do her."

I don't know how to not feel cast aside. I don't know that I can suck this up and continue to have a relationship at all with her when she is making it clear that what i want, need, is no longer important.

Have I been there for my mom? yup. I love her. I give her anything I can.. I help her with stuff around the house when I am around. she recently retired and I threw her a surprise party. I ask her about what's going on and give her advice.. She is now on a fixed income, and I've asked about her finances so if I need to send her money, I can cut off my cable or do whatever.

She told me I dont understand what its like for so many things to pull on her... and that she is alone at 60 and cannot face the fact that she is spending her golden years alone.. so she can't be there for me because she has bigger issues where she needs to make changes in her life right now.

Shrug.. I dont have a question.. any feed back will be great.. I just want to understand how to cope. because ive never felt this sad/depressed/rejected in my life.

Add: My father died when i was 13.. and he didn't have a family. And my mother is no longer with her boyfriend.. and has no boyfriend right now.