I guess the grass is always greener. I would have loved to have been given your freedom. I spent all those years forced to be my mother's fifth wheel because she didn't want to be alone and she didn't have anybody else. Now i'm 60, and I have no traditions of my own, and no time left to build any. She's pushing you out of the nest for your own good, I think. She might be a good mom after all. I can't believe you threw her a surprise retirement party, that is AWESOME! It shows connection. My mother only wants things from my brother, not from me (and she's very disappointed that she doesn't get them). Maybe she sees you two more as equals now?