Quote:
Originally Posted by EeyoreSmile
Next year, she says she's doing something different, so get ready for that. She is sick of being in my hometown... My sister lives there, and my brother probably isn't coming home because he has to work. My entire family spends Christmas together, aunts, uncles, cousins, spouses.. 2nd cousins. .we do christmas together and I've always gone home.. usually my mom calls to say ask when... that's my tradition. Even in a relationship, I go home for the 25th and 26th because my mom has a party on the 26th, usually.
If I stay down here, then I can find something to do, but people spend Christmas with their families when they get along. I guess I never assumed my family would want to do something different. My tradition is to spend it with my mom. And she doesn't want to visit me... she wants to just "do her," which she made clear doesn't include me after this year.. which makes me not want to go home this year. She says I'm being selfish. I told her I don't have to come home, she said it's fine if I come home this year.
I don't know. I'm confused.. I guess i don't get what I want. and i'll have to get used to it, even if i don;t understand why.
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Ok, I thought she was telling you not to come this year. So you're making that choice. She is giving you a year's notice that she wants to make changes in her life. It does sound like she doesn't want the responsibility of the entire family thing--that it's not just about you.
It sounds like you have lots to process with your T. Your Mom is your Mom, but she's also an individual with her own needs. Maybe if you can recognize her needs as valid, she'll be more likely to recognize yours, too.
