Yea, I think you're right AmandaLouise, I just feel such a loss of control if I'm not controlling everything about them. I am so worried about other people and how my mental illness effects them. I have a part that absolutely HATES my sister in law and without my permission let her know it about a month ago. Of course she's not going to understand that those aren't my feelings. How do you even explain that. She thinks I'm just batshit crazy anyway, let alone explaining dissociation to her. She was like my best friend and now she won't even talk to me. And I don't think I understand the emotions that were charged behind the conversation, so I think I just expect her to get over it. I read the text messages. But I don't really take them seriously. If I just let them be themselves I would be a very lonely person with a lot of sexual partners.