This is going to be a bit long.

So while I was married to and even after I separated from ex, I alienated almost everyone from my prior life. So recently I took an inventory and connected to someone I managed not to alienate. He is a lone wolf in that regard, so to speak. I did not respond to him when he tried to look me up in 2008 (his attempts to connect with me infuriated my then H) but I managed not to alienate him, unlike a bunch of other folks.

He is a French guy who has been living in NYC since 2008. I met him almost 20 years ago when my son was a newborn... and had sex with him on the night that we met. He was always compeletely crazy about me. We did not meet that often, because he only visited America infrequently, but when he would visit he would always hook up with me with abandon. Then I disappeared from his life. By the way, he is much much older than I am and has two grandchildren in France. He is divorced twice and has a "friend".

In response to my call he arranged to give a lecture at Stanford, staying for the weekend, in the beginning of December, in order to spend time with me. He sends me letters in which he recalls our special time together - so special that he did not have it with anyone else, etc. etc. etc. So he is basically very excited. He says he cannot sleep anymore. This is obviously good.

He also wanted to help me find a permanent position, and asked for my resume. I sent my resume. He said: "Can I distribute it to people at company A and company B?" I said: "Company B, for sure. Company A, no point, long story, will tell you when we meet."

Now, in reality company A fired me when my disability leave expired and company B is where I successfully work now. No person in their right mind would leave company A, a household name, the way I did. My p-doc was ready to write me a release to work, but ex, who was at that time already living separately, told me to dictate to the p-doc the following: I could only work 100% from home, with contact with manager only, no contact with other people. I did not want to go along, but did go along. Company A was unable to accommodate, naturally, and let go of me. Luckily, they keep this information private and only release last day of work and exit salary, so I have a story that I tell during interviews about my having to go to Europe to be with my dying mother and quitting for that reason. Even that story is barely belieavable because company A is international and I could have worked out of Europe, but I say that the workload with the mother and then with dealing with her estate and the bureaucracy was full time and I could not work.

I do not know this French guy, Charles, well enough, to tell him the true story, with bipolar, a suicide attempt, dependent personality disorder and all that jazz. I am afraid to frighten him and put him off. I prefer things as they are when he thinks that I am beautiful, sophisticated, successful, and amazing. I do not want him to know that I was suicidal in the spring - he does not need to know. I will take my meds in the bathroom when I spend the weekend with him - he does not need to know that I take a bunch of meds. I already have a lover who brings me water when I take meds, which is cute, and knows that I am bipolar - I think this is enough, I do not need more. I am afraid of stigma.

How do I explain why I do not want my resume sent to company A without telling the true story? Most people want to work for company A.

Further, I dropped out of Stanford Law School because ex wanted me to stay home with my son, saying things that were absolutely frightening to me at that time, such as "your son has an NPD". Rational people who are successful at Stanford law school do not drop out. If Charles asks me why I did not complete law school, what do I say that would not portray me as seriously crazy?

Charles has a good r/s with all three of his children. I do not see any of my three children. This is crazy. How do I talk about it? So far I said that ex stayed home when I worked at company A and thus it was natural that the children would stay with him when we separated. Charles said: "So he was like a woman?" I said:"To some extent, without the cooking". But ok, this justifies the children's living with ex but not their not seeing me completely. I just do not see how to talk about all that without saying the words "mental illness", help.