Thank you all for the support...this type of abuse by members of clergy, and organized religions/cults, is a topic that is sooo hard..

I will not bash any religous belief system, thats not what this is about, whether one religion is better or right, whose God is right or wrong, etc...what this thread is about..for me..is about abuse of power/authority of any religion when it comes to sexual abuse of children, and how it affects the victim, and their families...this society's condoned silence being forced onto families, and victims must stop ..

I have a voice that calls me horrible names and is centered around this abuse..most ppl dont know what kind of hell this has put me in..but other survivors of this type of abuse do...and I wont remain silent if allowed to discuss it here..because anyone who has been thru this or wants to comment should be able to find help and finally be able to find a voice....there own voice..which says..hey wait a minute..I am not this horrible filthy object because of what I hear in my head..I am suffering from psychological physical spiritual torture...because of not only what one man did to my body and mind, but the reinforcement of guilt that I have to endure because you cant talk about the weapon of choice he utilized to keep me silent..and that weapon happened to be "God" ...every abuser uses some horrible tactic to keep the victim silent..we try over and over again in our society to tell the victim..talk about it..tell someone..get it out..but when it comes to abusers being, religous leaders or members of clergy, or any number of authority figures we entrust our children to..you can almost hear an audible collective..shhhhh..not so loud..someone will hear you..