Eeyeoresmile, This is just so heartbreaking for you
I get a sense of deep sadness and hurt on your mothers part. I think she is so hurt right now as she is alone and probably depressed especially about christmas that she is lashing out on her nearest and dearest aka-you. I know it hurts but think of it like this everything is uncertain for her right now, she is trying to find herself again, she is not thinking straight and maybe just needs you to come closer, she is pushing you away but don't let her. She will thank you for it when her thinking is clearer. When people are upset or going through a difficult time everything becomes about them and sometimes they need to see the wider picture that they are loved and cared for.