my family has been dealing with my having "mental problems" since I was very young and my parents and social service prosecuted my abusers on my behalf. I dont have to do a lot of explaining, my therapist did all the explaining. my files say my childhood therapists told my parents because I had PTSD my moods would be erratic / unpredictable. people usually do have times when they like something one second and want something different the next.. to see this they just needed to be reminded of times when they have suddenly decided to change their minds about something they wanted to do, wanted to eat who they wanted to be around.. its just human nature to have a thinking mind that changes moods along with what ever is going on at the moment. my having PTSD just made my moods that much more indecisive, changing my mind more often then most people do. PTSD does make a person very selective on who they want to be around and when, what they like one moment is what they dont like the next and the same goes for people...no human being likes and loves their family /extended family every single second of the day and night. so naturally I was going to hate some family member at some point in my life just like a normal human being would. the therapist reminded my parents about how they might not have liked aunt sophie all the time because she did and said things they did not always agree with. this is completely normal reaction to socializing with friends and family.

after that my family didnt worry so much about the fact that I would suddenly tell this family member or that one I hated them, go away, leave me alone, what ever else I told them... I was just being human... no one like everyone all the time...

a prime example is you and me here on psych central sometimes we like each other sometimes we dont and we both are very blunt in telling each other how we are feeling.

Another example I told my wife this morning to go take a shower, her favorite perfume was making me sick to my stomach. she looked at me with this totally hurt face, walked out of the room. then about 10 minutes later she asked me if I really hated her perfume because we had bought it together, when she got it. I apologized for being so blunt and told her the truth at the moment it does make me sick to my stomach, when we bought it, it did not. I smiled and said hey Im human and whole that doesnt mean I cant change my mind any more...I was gearing up for a fight. she laughted and said you're right and at the moment I cant handle your moodiness so Im going to go take a long bath and read a book. LOL

it doesnt matter who you are and what type of relationship nor mental disorder human beings are people with a free mind and will say what they think, and unfortunately sometimes it will be like the saying goes.... out comes the words and in goes the double sized foot.

one thing that used to help me is that any of my DID problems were there since the day my mind first split so my family has been dealing with my mouthier alters just as long...and they got over what ever problems my alters caused, otherwise they wouldnt be a part of my adult life to hate what my alters said to them then either.

your in law will work out her problem ***she*** has with what your alter said to her, they have done so in the past so they will now. in the mean time may I suggest just giving her the space she wants by choosing not to be in contact with you right now.. its her problem to deal with, you are just being the same way you have been all your life. and while shes not talking to you...well thats her loss. it doesnt mean you have to put your life and feelings on hold waiting for her to come around. just go on with your life and when your inlaw is ready she will come back to you.