why is it I delude myself into thinking yer maybe in life I can do this or that or be this or that person. I will project a me in situation or circumstance up and coming yet in my ind and sort of hope for the best and that I can over come the anxiety. However that never happens for me I will always turn that event sour and make it go very wrong each time, this isn't about holding past mistakes against me this is about recent mistakes which where mean to make it go alright and now I am at a lost as there is nothing to desperatley cling onto to form some sense of living of life.

yet again no question, yet again just me putting my thought's out there. I guess maybe this is like asking that friend or talking to that friend you once had even they are gone now, even then I never did get much advise or a reply or listen to even then.