Ugh.. just having an awful day. It's been over 4 years and the urges are still there. I am so sick of fighting - I fight every day but it is too much. I'm broke, I can't work my current job without massive panic attacks and don't know if I can qualify for any sort of assistance. I might have another day job that I would be fine with (I dont cope with shift work) but I don't know for at least another few weeks, and if I don't have that thsn I have no other interviews currently. And on top of that I need to move out of my current house and try to find something else pet friendly - I never realised how hard that could be!!

i have been trying so hard lately to get my life together - finished uni, started eating healthy, started exercising but it all seems to be falling apart. Finishing my degree was meant to make things easier. Putting in these changes was meant to make things easier.

I am trying so hard but all I want to do is give up. The thoughts haven't been this bad in a long time. I don't think I want to fight them any more At least it is a way to get it out right?