You are definitely not alone Many people struggle through the holidays but suffer in silence. That is one of the many reasons why I appreciate PC so much ... we are able to share our feelings surrounding this time of year

Do you have a T that you can speak with regarding your feelings and the events that are taking place in your life? Also, the loss of your mother and friends is so painful. I am really sorry. That is huge in itself. And your marriage troubles add to another loss. You mentioned this holiday was a fave when your family was all together but sadly things have changed. That could be a definite trigger for depression.

As far as spending the time alone, I will be (kind of) alone as well. Well, just me and my cat I prefer his company! My family is horrible and my fiance passed away, along with a couple of close friends so I opt out of attending any functions.

I hope you will continue to post and let us know how you are doing. You are not alone and we care and many can relate.