Hi. This is my first time doing anything like this, so I apologize if I suck...

Today I found out my boyfriend slept with another woman last night.

This morning, I found him at my door. I thought it odd since no plans were made to see each other, but maybe this was one of his surprise visits? When I opened the door, he was hanging his head, covering his face, and crying. I asked if he was ok, if everything was ok...( his mother died just a few months ago, and I was afraid to hear something bad had happened to his father). He looked me in the eyes, and told me he was with someone last night.

Everything seemed to stop around me. I started shaking. I didn't(and still don't ) know what to make of the situation. He kept apologizing over, and over again, telling me there was no excuse...very remorseful. I was pretty much quiet the whole time, and finally I started sharing with him my list of mixed emotions: Anger, Vulnerable, Betrayed, Hurt, Confused...I told him I had so many questions, none of them I wanted answered but when I asked them He gave me simple answers; nod of the head and/or a quiet yes/no.

He was supposed to have been having a guys night, but they flaked and so he called around for people to come over ( he does that. he hates being alone) one person, the only person that came over was this woman. I didn't/don't want to know her name. They drank (I'm unsure how much) and he just doesn't know. He isn't using anything as an excuse

What doesn't make sense, is when we were texting that night, I had asked what he was doing and he said he was just watching THEM play video games. I told him to quit talking to me, and hang out with his friends. He said he was practicing mulitasking. When I told him I was going to visit a friend of mine, and finally agreed. I text him when I was leaving, and he didn't reply until maybe an hour or two later "good deal", and heard nothing from him when i told him i was going to bed, but I did get my "surprise" visit. I told him I couldn't look at him, and wanted him gone, he started to leave, but asked to stay and talk. I told him I couldn't with a hickey on his neck, then he left.

He's tried contacting me a few times today, which makes me angry bc I told him not to. Truth be told, I'd probably be angry if he didn't try, though. I'm so hurt, I don't know what to do. He's had previous girlfriends that have cheated on him, and he has made it perfectly clear that it is unacceptable and if I were to ever we would be done. Now that the tables have turned, he is apologizing profusely and asking forgiveness.

I've been thinking all day what to do...Forgive? Or not to forgive? I really want to forgive, but I don't know if I will be able to. I've been seeing a sickening image of him and a faceless woman all day. Only time will tell I suppose, but words of wisdom help too.