Your ideas about what good therapy is sound right on to me. Depending on the theory used, sometimes it is also important to gain an understanding of what happened, and it sounds like that was what your friend's T was trying to accomplish.
Whether or not his comment was appropriate depends on the client and the setting, and whether or not it helped her with anything.
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg
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