When you are incapable of expressing yourself around people? Everything locks up around people, I've worn a mask for so long that I no longer have a choice whether to put it on or not. I don't feel that I can express anything, I don't have a place I can run to and just vent without fear of it being repetead, being mocked, or threatened. I can't reach down and give what's really wrong because I"m afraid of being arrested or forced into asylum. Everything I say and do is calm and monotone and I immediately become a bit 'happy' and seem like I am doing ok because I can't access the rest of me because it's locked, like some other part of me doesn't want me talking about it.